A New Time has arrived

   It's been forever since I last wrote in my blog and so much has changed since then and thank the lord all
this change has been for the better!

   I read older posts I had ... Hell every other post besides a few ... written and my life seriously sucked. I'm lucky I had good friends and family to have made it past all of that sane and sound (for the most part anyway lol). It's truly crazy how much has changed in only six(ish) months. I'm such a happier person and everything in my life is great. Yes I have had long nights and some rocky moments but at the end of every day I have had a smile :) and I know things will get better if they are not already! I can't thank everyone in my life enough for the change that has happen to me.

   I finally found someone who can really make me happy! I was so surprised by who it was (though really I wasn't at the same time!). Things look like they could work and I sure as hell know I would give it my all to see that it does. I''m giving myself a bit of time to see how things play out but I am excited for the future and what it holds! After everything that I went through to get to this point in my life with this type of thing I am truly glad that it has worked out and honestly I have found who I am and what I want. I just hope things can work out between us. It would truly be one of the greatest things in my life. Only time will tell and I choose to make something happen so I can have a chance!

   Finally I am back in college and I have to say I missed it more then I thought (which was already a lot!) and I will not take it lightly at all. All my classes are amazing even ones I had second thoughts about! Who knew things could be so great with the type of classes I am taking. So much is in store for me and I can't wait to see it all! So much goes through my head as I sit in class and I can feel my thoughts form more rapidly  and become more sharp. The knowledge that is gained through a higher education is truly unbelievable and I am more then happy to be able to receive this type of gift.

   Funny how even though I am loving college I can't help but think how I cannot wait for summer. Something tells me that this coming summer is going to be one for the books. I only have good feelings about this coming summer which is something new for me b/c so many times before I would dread the coming of summer for it would always bring change, change that would completely ruin my life at the time. I feel as if the memories and moments that will come of this summer, hell this semester before the summer as well, will shape my future for the coming years. This time around I cannot wait for it!

   Hmm ... things with my mother really haven't changed ... Things are good some days then horrible other days ... Though after long talks with both my best friends and my mother I have come to realize that I shouldn't stress or be angry at things I cannot control. While I can't say that I have completely released all the angry and stress I have over this situation, I can say that I have become better at not letting it effect myself. I am starting to cope with it better and I do what I can for my mother to make things easier for her, or at least I try to. I try not to think about it as much as well. It's not good to dwell on things like that. I will never be able to accept this completely simply b/c it means my mother will be taken from me to soon but I can understand it and do what I can for her.

   I choose to believe that after everything I am becoming a good man. That I have finally started learning from my major past mistakes. That I am a good friend that would give his arm for them. That I am a good brother, son, and family member who would give his life for his them without a second thought. That I can be a good partner.

   Seems like this Superman finally found his colors and knows who he is. It's been a while since things have been this good and never have they stayed like that for a long period of time until now. Most things are in my hands to keep them the way they are. The only person I can blame for things going wrong will be me. I sure as hell will make sure that I don't drop the ball. Things will stay good no matter what happens b/c I don't want to go back to what I was. It was a dark place and nothing good came out of it, well besides that fact that I know what rock bottom is so I can appreciate things way more then I did.

   If anyone ever has said that not a lot can happen in almost 20 years of someones life, less actually If I think about it, then they haven't met yours truly. Whatever happens from here on out is on me. No excuses no surrender. Win or lose I will do things my way. This time around I will have control.

   I stop with this one thought ...


  If everyone who is old enough to understand the dfference between right and wrong were to all commit one random act of kindness everyday there would be over 5 to 6 billion acts of kindness in the world ... Tell me then that would the world be like after that?